Monday, December 5, 2011

Time

Throughout life, it has always seemed as if you wanted time to speed up.  As a freshman in high school, you wanted to be a sophomore and get your drivers license.  As a sophomore, you wanted to be a junior, to finally be considered an upper classman.  As a junior, you couldn't wait to be a senior and be at the top of the school.  As a senior, you couldn't wait to graduate and enter the fabulous world of college.  See the trend here?!
Well, now days, time is simply moving wayyyyyyyyyy too quickly!!!  I cannot believe it is already the 5th of December!!  20 days until Christmas!!  
When East and I moved down to Mississippi, we knew we would be down here roughly 5-6 months, and then J would get deployed and we would go back home.  The first month, I spent home sick, and wanting to go back to the things I knew and the comforts of home.  But as the months started to tick by, I quickly changed.  J and I made friends down here, we began to know the city, and it quickly started becoming Home for us....
That was 3 months ago, and as I sit here and reflect on that, I am beginning to realize that our time here is quickly coming to an end!  For me, December is always one of the fastest months with Christmas and traveling, and all the fun that comes with Christmas and New Years.  And after December comes our crazy January.  A January that will be spent taking care of last minute deployment details.  For once, I want time to slow down!!!  I want more time here as a family with my husband.  I'm not ready for him to leave and not know exactly when he will be coming home.  I know so many people do this on a daily basis, but I face so much anxiety with this being our first deployment.  
We were watching our Sunday night of TV last night, and I just started ranting.  As each day passes, I grow in anxiety.  I know that it is early, but I still have fears.  I feel guilty that I will get to continue to be with Easton while J misses so many months of his life.  I worry about long nights that I won't hear from J, worrying whether he is safe or if something is wrong.  I fear how it is going to be not hearing from him for weeks at a time.  As I was telling him all of these fears, he quickly reminded me that right now, we are blessed to still have time.  Still have time as a family, still have time to talk, to tell each other we love each other!  I am constantly reminded that things will work out.  
This weekend, Easton said his first words "DADA" and J was here to hear those sweet words! At 6 months old, Josh was blessed to be home with us and hear Dada come from his sweet baby boy!  
So, while I want to get caught up in how quickly time is flying by for us, I take a step back and remember that we still have time together to make memories and spend a wonderful Christmas season together!  Always tell that special person that you love them, and be grateful for the time that you have with them...no matter how much or little that might be.  


And because he is so insanely cute, here is my little heartbreaker:




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